bittersweetheart

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 00:42:12 GMT

I have recently undergone a period of, ahem, 'leave'. In this time I discovered a few things, that, I'm sure you'll understand, have changed my life considerably. They are

1) Monty Python are better than the league of gentlemen

2) Food is a GOOD THING. But godzilla sized quantities of it will make you put on weight.

3) Even politics students have some naive ideas concerning politics.

4) The pill is a bastard to take.

5) Life is a bastard to get on with.

6) People are generally bastards to get on with.

7) Brazil is quite possibly the greatest film ever ever ever made.

8) that's it

9) oh well

10) deep stuff, eh?

Night Night

The sound of music twice an hour and jaws one two and three

Tue, 17 Feb 2004 17:19:46 GMT

My government lecturer seems to think it would be an enjoyable 'field trip' to go and listen to Alistair Campbell talk his usual codswallop at the Waterfront Hall. I can think of much better ways to spend my money and time personally, like paying someone to break my arms and legs....

In 1945 peace broke out...

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 17:19:58 GMT

Ah, good news at last!!! I have passed my first term exams, and there was much rejoicing :) a 2:1 for politics and goverment and a first for post war economic development. Admittedly, I'm already having panic attacks about this second semester and I'm only two weeks into it but still, this is slightly reassuring.

Your very own number on your very own door

Thu, 05 Feb 2004 09:28:27 GMT

So this is going to be one of those days I think. I have two seminars in succession (introduction to political thought and globalization & world politics - yippee), a 'personal developement planning' meeting with my studies advisor and then a two hour lecture on globalization...and then I have an hour with nothing to do before my train arrives...last night I had to read some John Pilger handout, and although I am a fan of Pilger when I'm reading for my own amusement, for some reason last night I found the experience rather dull :(

Still yesterday I bought the Scissor Sister's album which is surprisingly better than I had expected it to be. Jake Shears doesn't sing in that beegee style voice all the time at least. Still waiting for the Franz Ferdinand album though and must buy The Delays' album at some point. It's a very good way to completely waste a useful student loan, buying cds...

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 15:49:38 GMT

Well, isn't it nice to know that I haven't been forgotten... :)

Well, I have finally gone to university to read politics which is okayish. I have also become obsessed with the film Brazil and the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy but that's another matter. Also, Franz Ferdinand - how fantastic?! Other than this admittedly thrilling things, my life has pretty much remained the same...... sigh.... and how is everyone else?

hello there

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 10:02:55 GMT

Just a short message to let everyone know that I have returned, back from the wilderness. However as I have a lecture in oooh, 13 minutes I should go. Hello again!

Hey-ho, hey-ho, it's off to war we go

Tue, 18 Mar 2003 00:12:02 GMT

I'd just like to begin this entry by saying how utterly angry it makes me that the first government minister to actually resign in protest over this unjust war had to be the weasle-like Robin Cook. I have never, never liked that little man, and now he goes and does something that I actually admire. Today I have actually had to say good things about him and I DIDN'T LIKE THAT. I feel the need to take a shower...and has anyone else noticed that the always entertaining Peter Mandleson has been hanging around an awful lot of late, supporting his bestest mate in the whole wide world? Let that be a warning sign to us all. And as for Tony Blair - the papers might be talking about his shaky position as PM but who here can point out a single MP who could make a decent Prime Minister? Gordon Brown might be more old labour than new but would he actually have handled things much differently if he was currently first among equals? Let me just say that if Dubya and Tony must go to war, lets hope they make a better job of getting rid of Saddam than they did Osama Bin Laden. I might be wrong but you know, isn't he kinda still out there? And isn't the Taliban beginning to resurface? The only reason we're going to war with Iraq is so Junior can finish off what daddy didn't. And nothing covers up an illegitimate government quite like a good ol' fashioned war. Plus it's got a fresh lemon scent to cover up the smell of napalm in the morning.

But anyway. I hope that you all had a more enjoyable St Patrick's Day than me - the agnostic who spent her St Paddy's day in a church hall listening to 'traditional' oirish music with her family. And some girl murdering an already terrible Corrs song. The only drinks available were of the soft kind dammit!! I have got to learn how to say 'No'. I'm sure you'll all be pleased to know that my kidney infection is clearing up. But (there's always a but) Miss Hypochondria here thinks that her new inhaler is giving her side effects. It's a saga now...

hahaha so true

Mon, 17 Mar 2003 00:34:25 GMT

I haven't even got a gas mask

Mon, 17 Mar 2003 00:09:42 GMT

Bloody Cold Feet - had me crying like a complete girl tonight. Erm...

So whilst we hurtle towards war thanks to Junior in the White House, what is playing on my mind? My new diet of course!!! I was flicking through a catalogue today and realised that every single top was a crop top. Oddly enough, even in my size eight days, I couldn't have pulled off wearing a crop top but dammit why can't they sell tops that at least reach your waist? Even the size 14 model had a peculiar washboard stomach! The only tops I did like were labelled Small, Medium, Large and X-Large. Can anyone help me with this? Exactly what do those sizes mean? Is small an eight? Medium ten? Damn them and their home shopping sickness.

And good news for tLoG obsessives like myself! Apparently the gents have written a couple of episodes of Doctor Who and are lobbying the BBC to let them make them! Mark wants to be the Doctor (of course) and Steve and Reece want to be villians. I will live in hope :)

I will scream if I need to

Sun, 16 Mar 2003 01:11:14 GMT

Well, hasn't this been an interesting day? I've been walking under the cloud of hypochondria again for the first time in years which is never a good sign. I had a massive argument with a family member over the tuning in of a radio station. And I have got a bloody kidney infection (and no, this is not the hypochondria speaking). So, all in all, this has been 'A Bad Day'. But, I am on my own right now, and this is 'A Good Thing'.
Out of interest, did anyone watch a programme called 'Scribbing' on Monday? I know I'm going back a bit here but stick with me. Rob Newman - what has happened to the man? Watching him get turned down by seven publishers in a row was just painful. I still fancy him though...
But I digress. Comic Relief? A little patchy but overall funny. Vic and Bob have never gone down well on Red Nose Day but they made me laugh ("beercan"). I felt for Jack Dee, especially when Feltz began to serinade him. The lovely and gorgeous Dawn French was lovely and gorgeous as usual. Lenny Henry, Johnathon Ross and Graham Norton was v.funny as usual. And Ant& Dec tried as usual. And Gareth Gates failed his driving test, which, for me, was the funniest moment of the night :) And aren't those Comic Relief 'serious bit' films extrememly hard to watch?
Meanwhile, my red nose is still providing hours of entertainment with it's lovely red hair. And what time was that to put Adam & Joe on by the way?

I feel another hypochondriac attack coming on, so I'll just leave you all with words of wisdom borrowed from Craig Hill: It's not what you've got on the outside that counts, it's who you've got on the inside.

The Six Feet Under quiz

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 23:43:29 GMT

I'm David, who are you? by Clicks and Buzzes

And now the good news

Wed, 12 Mar 2003 00:00:01 GMT

Ta-da! I've just received an unconditional offer to read Politics at the University of Ulster! Bye bye English degree then :)

That is, of course, provided we haven't all been killed in some devastating nuclear holocaust by then...

On a lighter note: Ruby to win Fame Academy! But don't kick out Doon..

Never Trust A Rabbit. Or A Human.

Sun, 09 Mar 2003 02:48:07 GMT

It's not that I'm in a bad mood, as such.

It's just that I am utterly, utterly pissed off at the actions of one person. Actually, two people. Then there's the other one who I am only semi-pissed off with, but that's just my usual emotion concerning that person. The entire experience has made me very wary of people in general (come to think of it, I already was...) and it has only convinced me that it is much better to stay celibate and never, ever let anyone think that they have pathetic 'feelings' for me because they will only change their mind later. Three people have told me about these feeling things and all three times it ended up badly.
The first time it happened was with a girl called erm, let's call her Caz. The second time it happened it was with a girl called 'Nicola'. I later found out that Caz was dating Nicola at the same time she was apparently dying over me. And yet Caz no longer talks to me because I ended the relationship! And then there was the third time, which I really believed in. But it fizzled out, as these things do. But I won't go into that.

As for friendship, that has pretty much proved to be a complete sham and always short lived, just like my diets and erm, lent promises...I'm trying to think of a good Richey Edwards quote to end this diary on but can't quite think of one at the moment. My mind has been corrupted by Manic Street Preachers slash fiction. The only thoughts I have of Richey involve Nicky Wire and hand lotion. Don't ask.

At least now I know who Voiceover Girl is...

Sun, 02 Mar 2003 01:27:43 GMT

Well, I haven't posted here for a few days, mainly because my life is incredibly dull and/or miserable so there's very little to write about...but hey, that's never stopped me before. I could write about a painful incident in two separate changing rooms in two fairly low-budget shops this week, but I'd like to keep some dignity here...

This has not been an interesting Saturday. I spent an hour listening to Ed Harcourt, then I watched Casualty (worth for Orlando Searle alone), watched Taken which is sentimental rubbish but at least I didn't have to use my brain to understand it and then I watched Parkinson featuring the incredibly annoying fish-lipped public school boy that tries to hard Jamie Oliver. Then I came online to check the current status of my UCAS form, which hasn't been updated since Valentines Day :( All in all, not a very productive day, I'm sure you'll agree.

On a more positive note, whilst listening to usually rubbish Cool FM today I happened to hear Saint Etienne - He's On The Phone. So, you know, that was something....

Cough, splutter, wheeze

Tue, 25 Feb 2003 00:28:40 GMT

Well today I had an appointment at the Asthma Clinic at the local health centre (I never knew there actually was an Asthma clinic there but nevermind..) Apparently the peak flow for someone like me (whatever that is?) should be 450 but my erm 'flow' is 410 so I've been put on a 2-week trial of a new inhaler to see if it helps. It means that I stop taking the inhaler commonly known as 'The Brown One' but still take 'The Blue One' if needs be. Not that this is very interesting, I just needed something to write about..

Other news: that diet I was supposed to start today? Well, I did start it, but I also finished it too. Ah well, these things happen.

And could somebody tell Chica that if she continues to have such impure thoughts about my husband I shall have to hunt her down and punish her with the use of black magic!!!! hehehe

Quote for the day: "You're Norman Bates with a briefcase!" (Gail from Coronation Street)

Odd..

Mon, 24 Feb 2003 00:38:56 GMT

According to http://www.theweekly.co.uk/ my name means:

Literal meaning
"The doctors say we should try to raise it as a boy and see how things go."

History
Mistranslated from the Dutch word for "neologisms" in a rush, the name Megan was originally used largely to refer to those bred solely for organ harvesting, before evil spread across the land like some big evil butter.

place subject title here

Mon, 24 Feb 2003 00:31:45 GMT

Well, thank God I, ahem, forgot to give my old psychology text book back to my sarcastic witch of a lecturer as it's providing me with a surprising amount of inspiration for a story for the previously mentioned yahoo group :) I'll get my pseudonym in print yet!!!

And who watched Bremner, Bird and Fortune on Sunday? A more thoughtful episode than normal this week, the phonecall for Saddam from Osama being both funny and incredibly worrying. But how fantastic is Rory's Tony Blair? And his Iain Duncan Smith is scarily spot on...and is just me, or are John Bird and John Fortune's part of the show the best parts? Although, as far as I'm concerned, Jon Culshaw gives the best Dubya Bush impression ("As President of the United States of Armenia....").

For some reason, my ability to read is somewhat impaired of late. I can read most books in a week normally, two if it's particularly long, but so far I've spent an entire month mulling over One Hundred Years of Solitude, and it's not as if it's a long or difficult book so I really don't know what the problem is. Maybe a three year degree in English isn't a good idea? Or maybe I'm just being especially lazy? Or perhaps the fact that I've spent the last few weeks watching far too much t.v has entirely ruined my attention span leaving me unable to sit down for half an hour and actually read one book?

Resolution of the week: Stick to a bloody diet!!! Say no to chocolate, always ask for a skinny cappucino, never eat almond croissants again and avoid Tayto cheese and onion crisps AT ALL COSTS! I'm beginning to feel my already well filled size 12 jeans get a little tight on me....I gave all my size 14/16 clothes to charity vowing that I would never need them again but now I'm beginning to think that was an error on my behalf. But I'm keeping my size 8/10 clothes right in my wardrobe until the blessed day that I can fit into them again comes....*bursts into tears and runs for nearest chocolate bar*

Quote for the day: I thought I was against the war...and then I watched the Brits. (Rory Bremner)

Whine, whine, whine...

Sun, 23 Feb 2003 01:52:47 GMT

Well, despite all my boastful claims to being celibate and proud, I have managed to spend most of the day in one of those "nobody loves me!!!!" modes, which affect me from time to time. Or week to week. Day to day? You know things are getting desparate when your mother has a better love life than you...

As for my writing, well, I have been 'creative' writing fiction for a certain yahoo group (people may or may not know what I mean here, if you do, great, if you don't, then don't ask lol) but some bugger got to my idea before me and now I have writer's block. *shakes fist* Looks like I may have to go back to writing proper fiction, dammit :(

Other news: I can exclusively reveal that the new Richard Hawley album is FANTASTIC and must be bought by everyone, once you have all bought From Every Sphere, obviously. I can also exclusively reveal to Leigh that I am about to begin taping Ten of The Best and tLoG series three for you, but two questions: 1. Could you please email me your address again, cause, erm, I deleted that particular email by accident, in a mass-delete incident...
2. Can you play long-play videos? Cheers darlin' ;)

And, well, that's pretty much it for my so-called life (hands up who remembers that particular show) so I will see you very very very soon. Maybe.

Peace x

Before I forget...

Sun, 16 Feb 2003 00:38:15 GMT

Everybody go out and buy the new Ed Harcourt album on Monday, I want that man in the top ten of something! Anything to get him on televison.......

Various ramblings from a girl who digs Blix

Sun, 16 Feb 2003 00:31:55 GMT

Alright then, a quick update on the car wreck that is my life.

I had applied for a job at an unnamed chocolate shop (the job I was born for, surely?) but didn't even get an interview to fuck up my application must have been so terrible. For the upteenth time I didn't get a single Valentines day card (pity me), although to be honest, I don't quite know who I was expecting a card of as I don't actually know that many people and that lovely goth lady on the bus hasn't actually seen me yet...I spent the rest of the week alternating between eating 500 calories a day and 5000 calories a day and then bemoaning my lack of willpower (I actually eat 472 calories on Thursday and felt a kind of pride in that, which can't be good...). And then the anti-war march I wanted to go on - well, I didn't, due to a lack of friends to go with and a lack of confidence to go on my own.

Good things to happen this week - I finally got offered an unconditional place at the University of Ulster to study English (the head of the department who wrote the letter remarked that it was nice to see someone who "read so widely" - well shucks...), and I got a lovely video tape of the ever lovely Chica chock full of Mark Gatiss goodness :) Oh yes, and some nice Steve features too, but you know how it is, I am the bride of Gatiss, yes?

So come on world give peace a chance! People like me are not "Saddam appeasers" as one irate Canadian wrote in Guardian letter's page today. I suggest you all read this week's copy of the New Statesman if you are in any doubt at all about the current situation (paying close attention to the article by John Pilger). Failing that, try and get a look at Friday's G2 which should make your mind up pretty sharpish. And with that, I am gone.

What subject?

Tue, 11 Feb 2003 02:23:10 GMT

First of all, apologies to the small group of friends that I never got to say this to: something has died in my computer, which is why I haven't been online in a while, but thank God for internet cafes and charitable friends with computers.

My lack of 'net access is probably a good thing though, because the last few times I logged on I visited a few of the pro-ana/mia websites that I have managed to ignore for a while now, and the further away am I from their 'triggers' the better. The thing about those websites is that they make being ana or mia sound so easy. The tips that they give are far too easy to follow for gullible souls like me. One strange fact is that, in a Guardian article last year, it was claimed that most search engines now block access to these websites, which is simply not true. Go to any of the popular engines and you will find what you are looking for. That's what I do anyway. I once heard a story that one girl who set up a pro-ana website actually died from the anorexia, but no one knows the password she used for the site so no one can close it down. But anyway, enough of my inane rambling, I better go now before the true owner of the computer I am using gives me any more dirty looks.

The musical entry

Sun, 19 Jan 2003 04:09:10 GMT

Okay, I have somehow made a day out of reading The Guardian, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About by Mil Millington and by thinking up my top ten songs. Which is, I'm sure, what all young women get up to on a Saturday night....for those of you who are interested my top ten songs are as follows:

1. Manic Street Preachers - Motown Junk
2. Rufus Wainwright - Foolish Love
3. Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
4. David Bowie - Life On Mars
5. Lou Reed - Perfect Day
6. Crowded House - Weather With You
7. The Clash - London Calling
8. McCalmont and Butler - Yes
9. The Divine Comedy - Gin Soaked Boy
10. Big Audio Dynamite - e=mc2

This will probably be completely different tommorow...So now you know my impeccable taste in music...feel free criticise or compliment at will.

One week later

Sat, 18 Jan 2003 03:09:46 GMT

Well, I have had my LiveJournal for a week now, and oddly enough I could pretty much type exactly what I typed last week, although Jeremy Vine didn't play the Icicle Works...
The night was so dull that I even got slightly excited by the fact that Tom Paulin and Will Self were on Newsnight Review....which is not normal, surely?

Vanity and politics all in one entry - bargain!

Fri, 17 Jan 2003 02:07:56 GMT

Okay, the wind outside sounds as if it is strong enough to rip the roof of the house, which I kind of hope it doesn't...

Just weeks after dying my hair natural darkest brown, the damn thing is already starting to fade and I have to dye it all over again. Considering either black or red, although I will probably just buy another bottle of natual darkest brown. I once went through a period where I dyed my hair every other week. This was when I was suffering from a pretty terrible depression and was just trying out different ways of actually looking halfway good. I cut my beautiful long hair to just below my chin (which I cannot forgive myself for), dyed it bright red, became a goth and the hair-dye period (the peroxide age?) began. I have to say that I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin than when I was a goth, I loved my black lipstick, masses of eyeliner and ankle length crushed velvet black dresses and didn't care when people stared at me either. Now I no longer have the confidence to carry that look off and instead I dress like everyone else around here dresses - jeans and t-shirt/jumper/shirt/whatever. The only sign left of my goth past is my eyeliner, which is still plentiful and badly applied, complete with uneven eyeliner flicks. If persuaded I may even accompany this with black eyeshadow and dark red lipstick, but only if I'm feeling particularly brave that day. I still have an old goth skirt in my wardrobe actually. It has about 7 layers of uneven black lace complete with little silver bells on it. I often take it out and consider the possibility of maybe considering to maybe think about wearing it. Possibly. In the future. Someday. Maybe. I really should get rid of it, hand it in to some charity shop so some Vinnie and Reenie types can mark it up for sale, but just can't bring myself to do it.

Political corner - finding empty chemical war heads does not provide enough evidence for a war. It certainly isn't the smoking gun Dr Blix was looking for anyway. It might actually be a good thing that they have been found though. It means that the UN will see that the weapons inspectors are actually doing their job and therefore should continue to do it for a while longer, something which will actually delay a war rather than provoke one. Which can only be a good thing.

How very odd

Thu, 16 Jan 2003 03:06:58 GMT

I have issues with...

cold
hate
sacrifice
walls
labor

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